


Worth It, Baby, Worth Everything – Juuse Saros

by caixa



Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: COVID-19 Quarantine, Developing Relationship, F/M, Fluff, Happy Ending, Hockeynetwork Winter Gift Exchange 2020, Inspired by Real Events, M/M, Meet-Cute, Mild Angst, NON-GENDERED READER, Nashville Predators, Pekka's Baby
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-19
Updated: 2020-12-19
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:34:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28174026
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/caixa/pseuds/caixa
Summary: 2020 is a rough passage for a new relationship but some things are worth the effort.
Relationships: Juuse Saros/Reader
Kudos: 5
Collections: HockeyNetwork Gift Exchange Collection





	Worth It, Baby, Worth Everything – Juuse Saros

**Author's Note:**

> Cross-posted here and on Tumblr.  
> This is a gift for Tumblr user @moritzseider for the Hockeynetwork Winter Gift Exchange.
> 
> Happy Holidays, hyvää joulua!

It’s a _joke_ , just a joke. Juuse should get it. Really, it’s the kind of borderline dark, sarcastic humor that your boyfriend is well used to hearing from you.

One of the reasons why Juuse likes you (you say _likes_ because you only dare say _loves_ every other day or so, there are days when merely thinking of the word makes you too flustered to function) is that you make him laugh.

Not this time. You don’t remember later how the joke went exactly, but it was about babies and the punchline had the word _yeet_ in it; in any case, it doesn’t go down well with Juuse. Juuse purses his lips, looks down at the plate he’s scrubbing as you stand side by side doing the dishes in his ultramodern stylish kitchen, and knits his expressive brows.

“You know my best friend is having a baby, right?”

Of course you know that Pekka is becoming a father in mere weeks, if the due date holds. You also know that Juuse’s goalie mentor is at the same time blissfully happy and worried sick.  
  


What makes Pekka nervous is _not_ being a first time father. You know that he loves his nieces and nephews in Finland and has always been excited about the thought of someday having his own kids. What he _is_ nervous about is the journey to the moment of finally meeting his baby: all the possible risks and health hazards.

That is why he acts cautiously. The pregnancy was announced publicly very late, only a couple of months before the due date, well into the third trimester (some new terms trickle down even to your vocabulary which is hilarious considering how far you are from being the one expecting).

Pekka broke the news in September, when both Pekka and Juuse were still in Finland for the oddly timed off-season. You had known it already and watched with mild amusement how the news spread in the local press and social media.

* * *

You had met Juuse at a bouldering lesson in Nashville in the end of the previous off-season. You were pretty overwhelmed that a professional athlete – let alone one of your favorite players in your hometown team – had chosen to practice a new hobby in a small group with total strangers.

At first you felt shy to talk to him and _way_ too embarrassed to talk to him about hockey. But, after you ran into him in a grocery store between the third and fourth lesson of the beginner’s course, the topic was impossible to ignore.

You saw a yellow cap bouncing behind a row of apples, and without a second thought you assumed there was a mirror placed behind the fruit display. The hat was identical to – literally a mirror image of – the Preds cap that was covering your own messy hair that day.  
  


You extended your hand to reach for a nice looking Honey Crunch apple on the top row – and so did, naturally, your mirror image. Your fingers bumped together, and the touch was warm instead of the cool surface of hard glass you were expecting, and you twitched out of being startled, hardly stifling a yelp.  
  


“Y/N! Hi!” you heard a familiar voice.

To your astonishment, Juuse’s eyes rose above the fruit and he moved his hand to the next apple in the row, leaving the one you both had been touching for you. His gaze swept over the hat on your head, registering it, and returned to your eyes.

“I haven’t seen you around here before,” he said.

The fact that he had learned your name during the shared lessons, despite the very limited interaction you had had, set an almost embarrassing flutter of butterflies inside your stomach.

“I haven’t seen you, either,” you retorted, cringing inside because your snappish tone. But that was just how you were – quick sarcasm was your way of guarding yourself, keeping yourself composed instead of the flustered fan that the situation made you feel like.

Juuse chuckled and strolled down the aisle on his side of the fruit display, placing apples into a bag he was holding open, and you followed suit on your side. Your eyes met every time you glanced at the fruit, and you lowered them again every time you bagged one in your shopping basket.

When you reached the end of the fruit stand, Juuse looked pointedly at your cap again.

“Same hat,” he said, tapping the bill of his cap with his thumb while pointing at yours with his index finger.

You smiled. “Same hat,” you replied, nodded and pointed at his.

“You haven’t mentioned you’re a fan,” he said but cut himself off, lowering his eyes with an apologetic smirk, “Or, what do I know, if you won it in a raffle or something –“ he gestured towards you.

It was easy for you to laugh reassuringly.

“No, I paid dear dollars for it at the Locker Room Store.”

“So you’ve been to the arena? And never a word!”

You shrugged and gave him a lopsided smile. “I couldn’t let your fame get to your head, could I? You’re already the best climber on our course. Like you need anything else on top or that.”

“Oh, am I? That’s nice to hear. Thank you,”

You rolled your eyes. Juuse _had_ to know he was always the quickest to find a steady support for his foot on the rocky wall, and that he was strong and flexible enough to hold on to it when needed and find his route up in agile moves.

“You’re not too bad yourself,” he added.

You shrugged, the shopping basket making a movement up and down on your arms.

“I’m there to learn.”

“Well, I’m looking forward to seeing you next time,” Juuse said, parting from you with a polite little bow, and headed towards the milk products.

You needed some double cream but didn’t want to look like you were following him, so you went the other way and loaded on cereal first.

 _Oh damn_ , you scolded yourself while you ran your eyes over the rows of colorful cardboard boxes, why did you have to be such an idiot? You had probably ruined the whole bouldering course for Juuse. Would he be comfortable with his relative everyman’s anonymity blown to pieces with one unfortunate choice of headwear? Or would he think you were weird for not letting him know that you had recognized him?

The next lesson proved your worry unfounded. Juuse greeted you with a happy smile as soon as you got in. He stayed and chatted with you after the lesson until the instructor had to come and tell you that they needed the space cleared before the next group.

It became a habit for you two to hang out after the lessons, winding down in a nearby park, sipping water while strolling on the paths, or sitting on a bench and chatting. One day Juuse bought you fresh pressed juice from a vendor’s cart; another time, he got both of you coffees at a small café at the other end of the park.

“I’m going to miss hanging out with you,” he said after the penultimate lesson and you realized that your time together was coming to an end. It made an uncharacteristic lump knot inside your throat, and you took a long sip of your water to force it down.

“Aren’t you signing up for the advanced course?” you asked, attempting at a playful tone.

Juuse shook his head.

“The season is starting soon, and I’m afraid I was already pushing the envelope when it comes to the conditions of my insurance with the beginner’s course, so –“ he shrugged, tilting his head from side to side. “But –“ he turned his face towards you, studying yours before he continued “– We could go out after the next time, or something, if you’d like? Or, like, if you have time? If you give me your number, I’ll call you about it.”

 _If you had time_ to go out with Juuse? If you’d _like_ to?

Gosh, you absolutely loved how polite and oblivious Juuse was.

* * *

Dating a professional hockey player during the season was not always the smoothest ride. After you started seeing each other regularly, you soon saw it take a turn to total irregularity. Days and weeks went without you two seeing each other, and sometimes the only thing you ended up doing on a rare off day together was literally _sleeping_ together, snuggled up for extensive naps because Juuse was just so drained.  
  


Other times Juuse made up for the lost time in the cutest ways.

You noticed on your first few dates how he paid close attention to your likes and preferences when you placed your order on your dinners or coffee dates, and when he asked you to his house for the first time, you were surprised that he actually _cooked_ for you and everything hit your taste perfectly.

“Mmm,” you hummed, your lips closed around another forkful. You saw Juuse’s fond smile when you cracked your eyelids to look at him across the table.

When you put your fork down, Juuse reached for your hand.

“Y/N,” he said, looking you in the eye, “Someone special has been pestering me for getting to meet you. “

Only a few days later you learned that if someone knew his way around in the kitchen even better than Juuse, it was Pekka Rinne.

* * *

“Of course I know that your best friend is having a baby,” you say and nudge Juuse with your elbow. In a normal situation you would probably go on by tickling his cheek with soapy wet hands, and he would duck to the side, and you’d place your hand on the nape of his neck instead, setting a little stream of foamy water to run down his back, soaking his shirt.

Instead, you mumble a muted apology, unsure if you actually are sorry for your words; you feel that Juuse is overreacting and should be able to take a joke.

But it’s different to get used to being around each other again, after a long time apart. Finland, playoff bubble, Finland, fourteen-day quarantines in between. Being in the same city but unable to touch should be declared a form of torture.

What you had expected to be a magical time in your developing relationship, getting to know each other better and better, has turned into a long distance romance kept alive by the help of different electronic devices and applications.

Now that you can meet again, you’re slowly starting to find ways to physically exist around each other again, and apparently it doesn’t happen without bumps.

That is why you aren’t exactly jumping for joy when Juuse tells that he needs to start self-isolation again.

“Oh no,” you groan but swallow the moping back as you hug him. “If you have to, you have to, I guess.”

Juuse rocks you in his embrace.

“I know, honey. I know. I hate it too.” He rubs his cheek to yours. “And I hate to ask you this, but could you consider – it’s a lot, feel free to say no – doing it too?”

Is this really worth it? To get together just to be apart again?

You break the hug, backing to half an arm’s length to look at Juuse’s face.

“Wait – what? Why?”

“Sorry, let me tell you the reason first,” he says, rubs your cheek with his thumb and leans in to whisper in your ear.

It’s a grueling two weeks and you try your hardest to keep from whining on FaceTime. You won’t even count how many days you have spent like this, not more than miles apart but only blowing kisses to each other on the screen of your phone.

Kesä jumps into the picture, Juuse lets her on the couch. He tries to keep the husky away by pushing her nose back but she licks the palm of his hand and directs her chaotic focus on the screen, the puffing black dog nostrils blocking your view to Juuse. You laugh, and Kesä knocks Juuse’s tablet over with her eager sniffing. You see only the ceiling on the camera and hear Juuse’s chuckling that badly diminishes the authority in his voice when he tries to command his dog to chill.

“No. No! Get down. Down. Now.”

“Was that for me?” you ask through a giggle.

“Ha, no. Good one.” Juuse’s hair appears on the bottom of the screen, then his face that shakes from side to side until it settles to the middle of the screen as props his pad up again.

“Tomorrow,” he says, smiling your favorite reassuring smile, eyes full of emotion.

“Tomorrow. Finally.”

He taps the screen, you know it from the way his fingertip goes out of the sight of the camera, you know he touches the on-screen picture of your face and you smile.

“Can’t wait. I love you. Thank you for doing this,” he says.

Your heart swells in your chest. You curl your both hands around the phone, the way you’d cup Juuse’s face if he was physically there, to kiss him silly and tell him a thousand times that _of course_ you’re doing this, not a chance in the world you wouldn’t.

“I love you,” you whisper. “Thank _you_.”

* * *

Pekka _beams_ when he opens the door to his house.

“Welcome,” he says through the widest and happiest smile you have ever seen on his face and that is a lot – Pekka being a person who radiates warm, positive energy, smiling on a daily basis.

You and Juuse enter the house, and he gestures you to follow him to the sunny living area.

“Come here, Paulus,” he says in the softest voice as he crouches over a baby nest resting on a couch and picks up the baby who curls his tiny fists and kicks his feet in dream-like moves. “Come and see Juuse and Y/N.”

Paulus doesn’t seem to see you, he keeps his eyes shut for a while, and when he cracks the little eyelids open, the gaze is as aimless as it is deep and blue.

“Hi, little fella,” Juuse says softly, almost whispering. “So great to meet you.”

Pekka carefully places the baby on Juuse’s arms, and after some hesitation Juuse eases into holding the little body, his shoulders gradually relaxing. His eyes are fixed on Paulus and you don’t think you have often seen him looking more mesmerized.

That is, until you catch him watching you some minutes later, when it’s your turn to hold the baby. Paulus has been moved from Juuse’s arms to yours, and you stroke the little soft forearm with one finger, marveling at the warmth and the softness of the new life you are holding.

“So,” Pekka starts when he has put Paulus back down in his nest and you’re sitting on the couch, Juuse’s arm around your shoulders and you digging yours as deep under his arm as you dare when you have company, “I know it’s a lot to ask in this situation but I really meant it.”

“I appreciate you asking me, really, it’s awesome,” Juuse answers him. “I mean, nobody has ever asked me to be a godfather for their kid before, not even any of my relatives. Have you set the date yet?”

“We want it to be soon, in two weeks or so –“

Paulus starts making little whining sounds, then his mouth gapes open and a loud cry starts. Pekka picks him up, smells his butt through the light blue pants like it’s the most natural thing to do and sighs.

“All right, little man, let’s get you cleaned up.”

He leaves the room with the crying baby. Juuse turns towards you on the couch and takes both of your hands in this. He looks you in the eye and grimaces apologetically.

“I know, babe, you’re going to hate this –“

You sigh. You know. Pekka will want to protect Paulus, so any participants in the christening ceremony will have to quarantine before it. If it’s in two weeks’ time it means Juuse will just go on with his self-isolation without a break. You don’t want to say he’s right, you _are_ going to hate it, will the forced separation _never_ end?

“Stop, we’ll manage, okay?” you say, forcing reassurance and compassion in your voice despite your initial will to be snarky and groan _not again_. You rub Juuse’s hand with your thumb and lean in to kiss his cheek. “I know it means a lot to Pekka that you do it, and it means a lot to you. I’m proud that he asked you.”

Juuse moves his hand to the side of your neck, squeezes it and draws your foreheads together.

“I know he’d like you to be there, too. He has said so.”

You sigh, and try to keep tears from rising into your eyes because you’re absolutely torn. It’s really touching that Pekka would want you to be around for such a big event in his life, especially when under the circumstances the number of guests will be limited to a very close circle of people, but you don’t know if you can take another two weeks like the previous ones anymore – confined in your apartment, apart from Juuse and unable to hang out with anyone else either.

Tears well up in your eyes and no matter how much you try to hold them back, a single one rolls down your cheek.

Juuse catches it with his fingertip and softly says your name.

“I – I don’t know. It’s huge, but it’s – too soon again, Juuse. I’ll – miss you, and –“

Juuse cuts you off when your voice breaks.

“Listen. Listen. You won’t have to miss me.”

“But – Pekka’s –“

Juuse holds you by your upper arms and bows to look you deep in the eye from under his brows.

“Listen. I don’t want to quarantine alone again anymore but I haven’t been sure how you’d take it if I asked you, but I’m asking you to consider. My house is a pretty big house for one. It gets lonely.”

“You have Kesä there.”

“That means there’s two of us missing you.”

There’s a warm flutter in your heart and you don’t say anything, and Juuse goes on.

“Do you think you could do it? Come over and quarantine with me?”

Juuse’s house is lovely; it even has a garden, not too big, but it’s easy and safe access outdoors at all hours. You have a toothbrush there already after staying over enough times.

“Until the ceremony?”

Juuse’s smile is almost shy.

“It will be a big house for one after that, too. You could come back and stay.”

You look him in the eye, at a loss for words for once, and your smile must look like an answer to him because his smile grows wider, rising up to the bluest eyes you know, and you notice you’re nodding furiously. It’s a big step but you’ve been together for a year and it feels _right._

“We’ll see if you still think so after the two weeks,” you manage to whisper jokingly before Juuse kisses you, long and deep because come on, once you get started after the long two weeks apart, it’s easy to forget you’re in someone else’s house.

“I’m pretty sure I will,” Juuse says.

*** The end ***

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! I'd love to hear from you, comments and kudos highly appreciated.
> 
> Thank you eafay70, the best beta!
> 
> I'm [caixxa](https://caixxa.tumblr.com) and [ badhockeymom](https://badhockeymom.tumblr.com) on Tumblr.


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